Akatsuki Shenanigans
by Kinneshi
Summary: A collection of stories about the Akatsuki and the stupid things they do in their spare time.  R&R please
1. Chapter 1: Drivethru

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto but the ideas are purely original.

This was just a random collection of stories I was dying to start. If they're stupid..sorry..then don't bother reviewing. Otherwise, enjoy!

Akatsuki Shenanigans

Chapter One: Drive Thru

"Heh, heh," a certain Uchiha chuckled maliciously. He revved the engine of the car loudly as he pulled up to the speaker box.

"Welcome to McDonald's. Would you like to order the new Big Mac value meal?"

"No thanks. I'd like four 4 piece chicken nugget happy meals with white milk and apple dippers."

"Is that all?" the boxed voice asked.

"Uh..let's see. I'd like 11 big Macs, 8 large fries, 5 sundaes, _and a diet coke_.

"Will that be all..this time?

"Yup."

"Your total comes to $53.68. Please pull around to the first window."

Itachi grinned as he lightly pressed the accelerator. The car eased up to the window.

"Hey there Sakura-chan. Lookin' good," the older Uchiha whistled appreciatively, trying not to gag.

"Sasuke-kun!!! Like O-M-G! Are you having a party or something!?"

"Oh, the foods all for me. But I _am _having a party later. Tonight at nine. Bring a keg or something incrim- I mean bring some drugs," he said smiling.

He inched forward to the next window without paying. Itachi did a double take when he reached the next window. There was that fat kid..'what's his name…choji..yeah that was it'..gorging himself on the Uchiha's food.

"What the hell! I paid for that food! I want it replaced lard ass!

"I'm not fat, I'm pleasingly plump!"

"Whatever, I want my food," he grumbled. "…lardo." He mumbled. Choji apparently missing hearing this since he simply handed the food over the ledge.

"Hey Choji!" Itachi called, getting his attention. "Call me sometime, sexy!"

Itachi sped off, leaving a dumbfounded choji. Pulling over to the side of the road, he looked at the license plate. UCHIHA2. Leaning over, he ripped off the piece of paper to reveal: UCHIHA1.

"Damn..Konoha's ninja aren't trained very well." Next, he dripped his well hidden illusion. He got in the car and sorted through the cds, pausing at August Burns Red before putting it in the cd player.

THE END

PLEASE R&R

3333333 Aki (That's seven..I counted)

I promise I'll work on my other stories!!!


	2. Chapter 2: Walmart

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Wal-mart

Akatsuki Shenanigans

Chapter Two: Wal-mart

"Tra la la la...time for holiday shopping!" Itachi sang.

"I still can't believe that you dragged me with you," Kisame complained.

"Because everyone else was busy you stupid little fishy."

"I'm not a fishy."

"Yes you are."

"NOT!"

"Whatever."

"Thank you."

"Fishy-kun."

"I AM NOT A FISHY DAMMIT!!!"

"Shut up," Itachi ordered as they walked towards Wal-mart. "You're making a scene."

"You started it!" Kisame whined.

"I'm not dignifying that with an answer."

"You just did," Kisame noted. Itachi walked into the store with a fake limp.

"I need a wheelchair, I'm handicapped," he announced to the greeter, looking meaningfully at Kisame. Kisame looked confused for a minute before it registered.

"Uh, me too," he said ever so brightly. The amused greeter retrieved their motorized scooters and rolled back to the electronics section.

"I bet that my wheelchair can kick your wheelchair's ass…if it had one," Itachi challenged.

"Yeah right. Your fat ass weighs it down lardo."

"Your tuna butt is fatter than mine ever will be."

"Fine then. Let's see who's right."

"But let's make it interesting though. Let's say that if you win, I get to rape you. If I win, you have to rape Sasori without being killed by him or Deidara. Deal?"

"You're on." The duo pushed the toggle bar to the extreme and started the race with looks of utmost concentration. Sadly, they were only averaging about 3 mph at the most. The onlookers snickered at their antics. The older age group just shook their heads.

"What has the world come to?" one of them muttered.

"Go Itachi!" one of the girls screamed.

"Go Kiss-chan!" a teenage guy yelled in a falsetto voice. The girls turned and started mauling one another, accusing each other of cheering Kisame on.

"Geez. I didn't think it would turn out to be this stupid," Itachi grumbled.

"Not to mention your fan club is here," Kisame added.

"Let's make this interesting…how about bumper cars? Itachi grinned.

"You're on!" Itachi immediately reversed into Kisame's cart and then pulled forward and started to turn only to have Kisame broadside him. The Uchiha floored it backwards to the right, up ending a display of glass perfume bottles. They made a lot of noise as they simultaneously fell and broke. The scents mingled together in a nauseating scent cloud. The Akatsuki members looked at each other.

"Time to go," they chorused. They jumped up and walked casually to the front door as two security guards approached them. The duo broke out in a run and sped off in Itachi's getaway car.

"Looks like a tie," Kisame conceded.

"I guess so," Itachi sighed.

X--X--X--end--X--X--X

Sorry it took so long to update and it being poorly written. I haven't updated anything in ages and have been too busy to do so when I was inspired.

X-aki-X


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